I Am the ‘Boys Have a Penis’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Look Back.
Arnold Schwarzenegger is universally recognized as an iconic tough guy. But, during the peak of his blockbuster fame in the eighties and nineties, he also starred in several critically acclaimed comedies. A prime example is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this winter.
The Role and That Line
In the classic film, Schwarzenegger portrays a undercover cop who masquerades as a schoolteacher to catch a killer. Throughout the movie, the procedural element acts as a simple backdrop for Schwarzenegger to have charming scenes with children. Arguably the most famous involves a child named Joseph, who spontaneously rises and declares the former bodybuilder, “Males have a penis, and girls get a vagina.” Arnold responds dryly, “Thanks for the tip.”
The boy behind the line was played by former young actor Miko Hughes. Beyond this role included a recurring role on Full House playing the antagonist to the famous sisters and the character of the resurrected boy in the film version of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. He still works in film today, with several projects in development. He also frequently attends fan conventions. Recently shared his recollections from the filming of the classic 35 years later.
Memories from the Set
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: My understanding is I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I can't remember being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, a little bit. They're brief images. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you landed the job in Kindergarten Cop?
My parents, primarily my mom would take me to auditions. Often it was a mass tryout. There'd be a room full of young actors and we'd all simply wait around, enter the casting office, be in there briefly, do whatever little line they wanted and then leave. My parents would feed me the lines and then, when I became literate, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have an impression of meeting Arnold? What was your feeling about him?
He was very kind. He was playful. He was pleasant, which I guess makes sense. It would have been odd if he was unpleasant to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a productive set. He was a joy to have on set.
“It would be strange if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I understood he was a huge celebrity because my family informed me, but I had not actually watched his movies. I felt the importance — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was simply playful and I was eager to interact with him when he wasn't busy. He was busy, obviously, but he'd sometimes engage here and there, and we would hang off of his arms. He'd tense up and we'd be dangling there. He was exceptionally kind. He purchased for each child in the classroom a yellow cassette player, which at the time was a major status symbol. That was the must-have gadget, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I played the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for years on that thing on that thing. It finally gave out. I also received a real silver whistle. He had the referee's whistle, and the kids all received one too as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being fun?
You know, it's funny, that movie was this cultural thing. It was a huge film, and it was such an amazing experience, and you would think, in retrospect, I would want my memories to be of the star himself, working with [director] Ivan Reitman, traveling to Oregon, being on a professional set, but my memories are of being a really picky eater at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I avoided pizza. All I would eat was the toppings only. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was brand new. That was the big craze, and I was pretty good at it. I was the smallest kid and some of the bigger kids would bring me their Game Boys to pass certain levels on games because I could do it, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Line
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember the context? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I probably didn't know what the word shocking meant, but I knew it was provocative and it got a big laugh. I was aware it was kind of something I wasn't supposed to do, but I was given special permission in this case because it was funny.
“It was a difficult decision for her.”
How it came about, from what I understand, was they hadn't finalized all the dialogue. A few scenes were part of the original screenplay, but once they had the kids together, it was more of a collaboration, but they refined it on set and, I suppose it's either the director or producers came to my mom and said, "We're thinking. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, I'll decide tomorrow" and took a day or two. She deliberated carefully. She said she was hesitant, but she thought it could end up as one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and she was right.